Be Hard to Offend and Easy to Impress

It started out innocently enough.

 My friend, John, sent me a text sharing some positive testimonials from a virtual keynote he had just delivered. I was proud of him and wanted to celebrate his success. After reading the testimonials, I quickly sent back an encouraging response: 

"You're on fire!"

You know, because he’s been doing so well, and I figured, like most of us, he could use a little extra validation.

His reply came immediately:

"Again? Shit! Quick...put me out!"

And that was the moment I wanted to crawl into a hole.

Here’s the part that makes this the ultimate foot-in-mouth moment: John is a survivor of a fatal car crash that tragically killed his two friends and left him with severe burns over a large percentage of his body. 

The man has literally been on fire.

I felt disgusted with myself. How could I not think before sending that text? I was mortified by what I had done.

But here’s the thing about John: he’s absolutely incredible. I immediately called him to apologize, but to my surprise, he was laughing. He assured me he thought the whole thing was hilarious and completely unintentional. Not only did he absolve me of my embarrassment, but he even shared how he dealt with similar moments.

"If someone asks if I smoke," he told me, "I say, 'I did once, but they put me out.'"

What an amazing human being. 

I can’t imagine the pain, trauma, and challenges John has faced since his accident decades ago. I didn't know him then, I don't see him as a burn victim; to me, he is just John, an incredible man whom I’m proud to call my friend. He once told me, "I love the way I look, I don't look like everybody else!" Isn't he the coolest; I mean how many people do you know that can say that about themselves? I wanna be like him when I grow up! 

Now...your life, your version, your plan...

They say most people who offend you have no idea they’ve done it. I think I believe that. If I reflect on all the conversations I’ve had in my life, I shudder to think how many times I’ve unintentionally offended someone. 

But here’s the hope: that those moments are met with the grace that John gave me.

• How would you have reacted if someone did to you what I did to John?

• How do you typically respond when someone or something offends you?

• Do you give people the benefit of the doubt?

• Do you assume the best or jump to conclusions?

Sometimes, preparing a few neutral lines for awkward situations can make all the difference. For example:

"I can't imagine you were trying to offend me when you said that. Were you?"

1. Pause Before Reacting: Not every offense is intentional. Taking a moment to reflect can often shift your perspective.

2. Give Grace Freely: Assume positive intent—it’s a gift you give yourself as much as others.

3. Be Ready with Kind Words: Having phrases like, “I’d love to understand what you meant by that,” can turn an awkward moment into an opportunity for connection.

John’s reaction reminds us that grace, humor, and resilience can turn even our worst missteps into shared laughter and deeper friendships.

Going through life hard to offend and easy to impress is one more way to live, Your Life, Unlimited!

Still holding my head high,  Steph : )