The Power of "At Least"

At Least?

I’m listening to the audiobook of Daniel Pink’s The Power of Regret and, no surprise here, it’s very interesting and relatable. He writes about different kinds of regret and what to do with those lingering feelings that keep niggling at you. I was with him until one of his “solutions” caused me to pause the recording and replay it - three times - just to ensure I’d heard it right.

Now, I’m the first to admit that Dan Pink towers above and ahead of me on practically every level, BUT I would like to challenge him on this one point.

The Power of “At Least”

He talks about regretting going to law school. It wasn’t the right fit for him, but AT LEAST he met his beloved wife. He tells of people who suffered through painful partnerships, but AT LEAST they have these amazing kids. Maybe you regret staying at a job you disliked for too long, but AT LEAST you acquired high-level, transferable skills.

At least?

At least you met the love of your life?

At least you have amazing children?

At least you acquired high-level, transferable skills?

Those hardly seem like “at leasts” to me - they seem pretty fabulous!

Words have power, friends - great power. And while I understand the premise of what he’s saying, IMHO, “AT LEAST” severely diminishes the amazingness of what you received.

Go on, still have the regret if that’s how you feel, but my suggestion would be to try a reframe like this:

“Law school wasn’t for me, but thank goodness I went, because the love of my life was waiting for me there!”

“I’m not thrilled about the years I spent in that marriage, but I’m exceedingly happy with the children who came from it!”

“I probably could have quit that job sooner, but I’m thankful I acquired high-level, transferable skills!”

I get it. In the grand scheme of things, this may not seem like a big deal – indeed, it’s not. In fact, maybe I’ll regret writing and sharing this, but AT LEAST… nope, let’s try again.

Maybe I’ll regret writing and sharing this, but I’m grateful I got to work it out in my mind and will have more clarity about my choice of words in the future.

The Power of “At Least”it that it can diminish the good.

Still, Dan, it’s a great book! Congrats on your successes (and your wife!).

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One thing I never regret is showing appreciation to the folks, in black, at the back of the room making sure the event goes tickety-boo becaus I'm pretty dispensable without A/V!  Thank you, Kyle (pictured above and sitting in for Dan Pink!