SMALL WINS

Help people, and yourself, feel included.

Have you ever walked into a room and not known anyone? It’s kind of a yucky feeling looking around for someone to talk to when you see everyone else is already in little groups conversing.

Next time you spy someone walk into a room alone, make eye contact with them, open up a space within the group you are talking with and invite the new person to join you.

My favourite line is “Would you like to join our pod?”  I have never had anyone say no, people are so grateful to be invited. I give them a quick and quiet overview of the discussion we have going on, so that they feel fully included and then we are good to go.

If you are the one who doesn’t know anyone, wait for the right time, join a group and be honest, say something like, ‘Hi, I don’t know a soul.’ or ‘I’m here by myself, would it be ok if I joined you?’

Again, I have never had anyone say no.  And it sure beats standing around feeling awkward.

Helping people, and yourself, feel included, it's just one more way you can live Your Life, Unlimited!

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What’s your purpose this week?

To get through it. To get as much done as possible?

To stay out of trouble?

To leave your mark on our world.

When my friend Wendy moved from California to Manitoba, her friend sent her off with this inspirational instruction. “Go put your ‘W’ on Winnipeg.”

You see Wendy had left her mark in California, her positive imprint, her progressive and pro-active impression and her friend knew that now was time for Wendy to make her mark elsewhere.

And she has – enhancing, educating and inspiring our community in the short time since she arrived.

What about you?

Have you left your positive, pro-active and progressive mark on your community yet?

We don’t have to start a foundation, donate an organ or give away our life saving to have a favourable impact. It can be made in hundreds of tiny but impactful ways.

Think about your purpose this week, think about how you can leave your …insert your initial here…mark on our world. It’s just one more way you can live Your Life, Unlimited!

***

I asked the flight attendant my ‘famous’ question, “Tell me something beautiful, loving or kind you have seen done on a plane.”

This smiling woman didn’t even have to think, she answered immediately.

“That’s easy, it’s when I see a couple who are sitting across the aisle from each other holding hands.  I just want to take a picture it’s so sweet!  Oh and there was this older couple sitting up front one time and she fell asleep before take-off and her husband reached over and snugged up her seat belt. So, so sweet!”

Ahhhh.

You know, the big surprises and gifts we give to people we love are special. They are planned and intentional and deliberate and that’s great. Consider though the small, unconscious acts that you do (or are done for you) by people you love that show love in the tiniest, most beautiful way – like the ones that the flight attendant noticed.

Doing, and appreciating, unconscious acts of love, it’s just one more way…it just one more way to live Your Life, Unlimited.

***

They say when you are ready the teacher will appear and so he did.

About three weeks into my self-imposed 50 day sugar-free retreat, I was connected with Barry Friedman, author of I Love Me More Than Sugar. His enthusiam for being sugar free is (almost) contagious!

Almost 4 years into ‘the lifestyle’ now, Barry says he will never go back and he now helps people of all ages, stages and geographic location to kick the sugar bug to the curb.

Barry says you may miss sugar for awhile, but you won’t miss any love or  fun in your life, it’s just a mind shift and he uses the acronym FREE to help.

F – Fruit – enjoy to your heart’s content

R – Replace – sugary treat with things that are not food

E – Examine what you are eating, when and why

E – Exercise, old news that still works and takes your mind off of eating junk!

As for me, I challenged myself (the most sugar-addicted person I know) to go 50 days and I allowed myself 5 cheat days within that time frame. Please give me bonus points as the 50 days was all through the month of December! Shoot me now!

The funny thing was I didn’t feel any better giving it up but…at two weeks, I used up 2 of my days and honestly I felt terrible. My tummy was bloated and I felt heavy and yucky.  If I cheat beyond the 5 days, I will add 2 more days to my challenge for each time I cave.

Enjoy Barry’s guest post here…

After listening to my conversation with Stephanie, I’m guessing there might be questions, assumptions, judgments, or at least some confusion.Four-time World Juggling Champion? Six Time TED Speaker? Strategic Business Coach? Bestselling Author and Sugar Free Advocate?

Yeah, I know. Sometimes when I look in the mirror I’m confused, too, and I’ve been with me my whole life.

Let me connect a few dots.

You might have heard the quote that says, ‘How you do anything, is how you do everything.” I have dug into my own life, the stories of thousands of clients who have done the 30 Days Sugar Free challenge, my group and private coaching clients, famous celebrities, and even friends and family. This quote always holds water. No matter how much it hurts, if we are honest we can see the theme.

So What is Your ‘Anything’ and ‘Everything’?

Anything: Do you eat too much sugar?

Everything: Where else in your life do you overdue something that isn’t good for you?

Anything: Do you spend too much money on stuff you don’t need?

Everything: Where else do you not listen to your better judgment?

Anything: Do you procrastinate and work right up to the deadline?

Everything: Where else in your life do you not allow yourself the space to be creative and relaxed?

Anything: Find something that you know is out of whack in your life.

Everything: Identify other areas where that theme rules the day.

Voilà… If you haven’t made at least a few connections, I’ll ask you to take a deeper look. If you still come up empty, drop me a line and tell me about it. I’ve been searching the world for the exception.

If you’ve identified the patterns and are happy with them – you’re awesome. You are in integrity with your life. Get a t-shirt that boasts, “I’m Lucky To Be Me” and wear it with pride. I’ll high-five you as I watch you walk by.

What About the Rest of Us?

Hello my kindred spirit – we have work to do. It’s our work because we are parents, children, aunts and uncles. We are co-workers and citizens of planet Earth. We mingle in society.

You’ve found a pattern or two in your life that no longer serves you and it’s time to roll up your sleeves and rewrite the game plan.

1. Be Kind. Whatever pattern you identified was important to you at one point in your life. If it’s over-stayed it’s welcome, it’s just because it was never excused from the table.
2. Change Takes Change. You’ve already started, simply by identifying it and calling it out. You’ve shined a light into a place that has been happily playing in the darkness for a very long time. Don’t rush it out of bed – but open the windows, turn on the radio in its room, and keep the light on so it can’t continue to hide.
3. Introduce a New Behavior. It will take a while for it to become automatic. Your work is not to beat yourself up while you’re practicing. See #1.
4. Celebrate the Small Changes. Make this fun. A compliment or special moment of acknowledgment will go a long way in making it easier to continue with the new behavior. In time it will be the norm.
5. Let Someone In On It. Who is that one person that you can trust with your heart? Would you be open to letting him or her know what you’re up to, and check in with them from time to time? Make sure this person is ‘safe’, meaning that they have done some personal work of their own. This won’t play out well if they see your transformation as a threat.

It’s been an honor to spend this time with you. Please drop me a line if you have any follow up questions or comments. barry@30dayssugarfree.com