Yours Is Better Than Mine!

'Tis the season for… ahhh, so many things.

Joy, happiness, family, holidays, overindulgence, consumerism, loneliness, pressure, traditions…

One tradition I’ve embraced in recent years is joining my friend's annual wreath-making gathering. She invites a dozen or so friends, supplies an array of beautiful natural materials from her lovely property, and we dive into crafting our own custom wreaths.

Depending on the type of person you are, this might sound like pure fun—or it might stir up a little anxiety.

As I watch others artfully assemble their wreaths, I feel the familiar "pressure to perform." Should the boughs go this way or that? Add color here or there? Should I stop now, or does it need more? Someone, please just tell me what to do!

Despite everyone’s support and compliments, I still feel judgment—from no one but myself. I compare my efforts to others and, of course, convince myself that everyone’s wreath looks better than mine. It’s not unusual to hear some of us voicing these insecurities, even though the atmosphere is nothing but encouraging.

Yet, when the wreaths are done and we gather for a photo, every single one—mine included—is perfectly imperfect, lovely, and unique. Each wreath will brighten a wall or door, adding beauty and warmth wherever it hangs. Not one is “better” or “worse.” They all get to be beautiful, just as they are.

The wreaths are left outside while we move indoors for cider and treats, and the conversation naturally shifts to more personal topics. A few days later, as I reflect on the experience, it strikes me how much this gathering mirrors life.

How often do we feel like we’re not good enough, that our efforts don’t measure up, or that others are somehow doing life better than we are?

But in reality, I choose to believe (though I fail regularly):

• I am good enough.
• Nobody can live my life better than me.
• People are rarely judging me as much as I think they are.
• Good enough is enough.
• Done is better than perfect.
• Imperfect can be lovely, too.
• Most people are encouraging and genuinely want us to succeed.
• Comparison rarely brings joy.

I realize now that lamenting over my perceived inadequacies likely doesn’t bring joy to my thoughtful hostess, who went out of her way to create this beautiful experience for us. How much more delightful would it be if we could simply appreciate and celebrate what we bring to the table?

Now...your life, your version, your plan...

Any time of year—but perhaps especially in this season—it’s a good time to reflect on what’s true for you. Write down a mantra or two that helps you remember what matters:

• You are good enough.
• Nobody can live your life better than you.
• Imperfect can be lovely, too.
• Done is better than perfect.

Now, I'm going to enjoy my wreath, continue to be grateful that I get to be a part of this warm event and look for ways to inspire others as they inspire me! 

All the best, Steph

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